I had to repost these because I found them to be funny. Enjoy!

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An entry-level programmer was working hard on a deadline one night when he decided to get up and get another cup of cafe au-lait. When he went dashing around the corner he found the CEO standing by the paper shredder with a document in his hand. The CEO said, “My secretary has gone for the evening, do you know how to operate this thing?” The young programmer (feeling a spot of pride) said yes and placed the document in the machine and hit the “GO” button. Just as the document disappeared, the CEO responds, “Terrific! Now, I just need 10 copies.”

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A programmer, a systems analyst and a network administrator drive in a car on the way to a trade show. As they drive down a steep hill, the brakes fail. The system analyst (who is driving) tries to manouver the car down the narrow road around the sharp curves. Thanks to his incredible driving abilities and due to a lot of luck, they reach the bottom of the hill unharmed and manage to bring the car to a stop.

They jump out of the car, and the network administrator shouts “We have to open the hood and check all the wiring to make sure all the connections are fine”. “Yes,” the system analyst agrees, “we need to analyze the brake system to find the problem”.

“Pha!”, says the computer programmer “we’ll restart the engine, take it back to the top of the hill, and see if it happens again…”

Thought I’d share this tech joke here sent to me through email by a friend of mine.

Dear Tech support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.  In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

DEAR DESPERATE,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme. html and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.  Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)  Also do not attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.  In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech support

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